As women of God, we strive to fit what the bible says a woman should do- but what about what we shouldn’t do? Here are 17 things to stop doing as a Christian woman.
Disclaimer: I am not claiming to do these perfectly everyday, I make mistakes with some of these often and I repent on those sins, this is a guideline based on scripture, not just my personal opinion- which is why I include scripture in each one so you can see where in the Bible it speaks to those statements.
1) Gossip
Admittedly, this is a vice that I had to work on and I still am tempted at times to want to know what’s going on with others when it is none of my business. It’s become very common in today’s world to gossip. It is mentioned in the bible multiple times how wrong it is to gossip, especially throughout Proverbs. The bible talks about how it causes arguments, splits up best friends and destroys reputations. In my experience, I have seen the negative effects of gossiping and I can tell you that all of this is true.
Scripture that discourages gossiping: Proverbs 16:38, 17:4. 20:19, 25:10, 25:23, 26:20
2) Calling The Wrong Attention To Yourself
The second thing that, as a Christian woman, you should never do, is call attention yourself for the wrong reasons. This could be in a sexualized way, like dressing in provocative clothing or acting in a flirtatious way to get attention. This is the wrong kind of attention and it will not serve you or God. Doing this is not respectful of your body and God does not want to see you degrading yourself to please men (who are supposed to respect your body as well and protect your purity, not defile it). You can also call the wrong attention to you by acting in a way that is boastful so that you look good to others, this is also wrong and is what the Pharisees would do. You instead should focus on letting your pure heart and the fruits of the spirit shine, as well as the good qualities of you that God created- not the qualities the enemy wants you to have.
Scripture about modesty: 1 Timothy 2:9-10, Matthew 23:12/ Luke 14:11
3) Swear or Speak Immorally
There is power in the tongue! Women of God do not make crass jokes, they don’t cuss and they don’t swear on God’s name. I came into faith with a dirty mouth, I would use swear words so casually and had no problem making innuendos. As I grew in my faith, my soul started to reject this kind of speech and I prayed on it. The Holy Spirit has cleansed me of this and now I no longer speak like this. James 5:12 (ESV) says “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear”.
More scripture about cussing: Proverbs 4:24, Ephesians 5:4, Luke 6:45, James 3:10, Matthew 5:22, Matthew 5:33-37, Colossians 3:8, Romans 3:14, Romans 12:14
4) Belittle Others
There is nothing appealing about a woman who bullies or puts down others. Jesus tells us to love even our enemies- and love is kind. You should lift others up, encourage your fellow sisters in Christ! Don’t put them down in envy- that is the plan of the enemy to get you to hurt others emotionally and to bring you down as well. If you’re hurting and you feel the need to hurt others to make yourself feel better, know that you can get far more peace in Jesus than you ever will in harming someone else.
Scripture about belittling others: Matthew 5:22, Proverbs 11:12, Proverbs 22:8
5) Sit Idle
Laziness or sloth is such a trap of the devil and it will bring you down. God’s laws are for us and there is a reason the bible warns about laziness! Too much of anything will poison you- too much rest will make you feel terrible, it will depress you and weigh you down. It is never worth the procrastination, you will always feel overwhelmed when you put things off. Accomplishing your goals, spending the day serving God, actively participating in God’s plan for you will give you joy, motivation and move you forward. Laziness is not the same as rest- rest is needed and is a gift from God to recharge your batteries. Working too much is a thing as well- but sloth is specifically choosing to be unproductive for extended periods of time.
Scripture about laziness: Proverbs 19:15, Proverbs 31:27, Ecclesiastes 10:18.
6) Cause Drama
Another common practice in the world is to glorify drama but that is not what God wants from His people. Fighting back, creating and delighting in drama or acting on irritability with negative attitude is not who God calls us to be as women. A woman should not create arguments or be quarrelsome, they should instead practice patience and offer understanding in every situation (even with difficult people!). I remember I was often called “meek” growing up because I avoided conflict, and I was told it was a bad thing but when I read the bible, I saw that meekness is a good thing. In fact, Jesus, Himself, was noted to be meek and encouraged us to be the same. Luke 5:5-9 (ESV) says “Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth”. That doesn’t mean to let people walk all over you or others but instead to resolve conflict in a peaceful way, respectfully communicating your truth, feelings and boundaries in all situations.
Scripture about fighting/drama: Proverbs 17:19, 2 Timothy 2:24, Galatians 5:15, Proverbs 21:9, Proverbs 27:15
7) Worship Money or “Things” or Idols
As a godly woman, you should be putting your energy towards serving and worshiping God. It is idolatry to be obsessed with social media and celebrities, as well as to cling to money. 1 Timothy 6:10 says that the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil. If you would do anything for it or hold onto it instead of being generous and giving to others, you are worshiping money. God asks us to be satisfied in Him and what He has provided you.
Scriptures about worshiping money/idolatry: Galatians 5:20, Psalms 106:36, 2 Kings 17:12, 1 Timothy 6:10, Hebrews 13:5.
8) Bear False Witness
This is tied into gossiping, but I’m referring to specifically lying about someone and fabricating stories to benefit you. God sees everything and the truth always reveals itself, and in time your lies will be unravelled. Women of God do not slander others, but instead focus on their own self reflection.
Scripture about lying and slandering: Proverbs 19:9, Titus 3:2, Deuteronomy 5:20.
9) Sit In Your Emotions
Many women are lead to not manage their emotions, including myself. I did not grow up with any understanding of processing feelings in a healthy, respectful way. I learned to either unleash my anger/ sadness/ frustration on anyone who remotely hurt me or I ran away, bottling everything and giving the silent treatment. When I became a wife and a mother, I realized how selfish this was. When you look at the life of Christ, you don’t see Him processing His emotions this way. He tells us to be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to get angry (James 1:19). That means slow it down, listen to the other side and don’t act in emotion. That doesn’t mean don’t have feelings, it just means don’t let everyone else get wet in your storm but give it to God because He knows every tear you’ve cried and He is the one who can heal your heart.
Scripture about acting in emotion: Ephesians 4:26, Proverbs 29:11, Proverbs 16:32, Proverbs 4:23, Philippians 4:6.
10) Be Vain
Women should not define themselves by their looks or appearance- these are meaningless and temporary things. Spending too much time on your makeup and hair so that you can fit in with the standard of beauty the world wants you to achieve- this is not important to God. Who you are and what you do matters more to the Lord. Your worth is in God- who gave you this body? who gave you the skills that you have? All the praise should be to Him and all that is good in you should glorify God- including your physical (natural) beauty!
Scripture about vanity: Philippians 2:3, 1 Peter 3:3-4, Proverbs 31:30.
11) Neglect Your Bible
When you stray from the word of God, you become vulnerable to sin. This is something I am guilty of but when I do read the bible consistently, I notice my attitude is more joyful, I am not struggling in sin- I am living in the light and peace of Christ. When you avoid reading your bible, you are allowing yourself to be surrounded by a sinful world without God’s armour on. The bible should be your daily bread!
Scripture about staying in the word: 1 Timothy 4:13, John 15:5, Psalms 119:25, 2 Timothy 3:14-17, Psalms 1.
13) Hold Grudges
As believers, we should never hold grudges because God has forgiven us for way worse. Whatever it is they did to hurt you, forgive them and move on with an open heart. Jesus tells us to love our enemies, to pray for those who prosecute us (Matthew 5:44). Love is also defined in the bible as not keeping records of wrongs (1 Corinthians 13:5). You can not love anyone and at the same time, hold a grudge against them.
Scripture about holding grudges: Ephesians 4:32, Colossians 3:13, Mark 11:25, Matthew 6:14-15, James 2: 13, Matthew 18:21- 35 (Parable of the Unforgiving Debtor).
14) Judge
We are not the judge of others, our Heavenly Father is. Judging someone is thinking and acting that you are holier than them or if their sins are worse than yours. The bible says that all sins are equal in the eyes of God. This is not the same thing as preaching the gospel, you should always share what the word of God says and the bible tells us to warn others of their sins. That is not judgement- judgement is looking down on them for their sins, something that even Jesus, who never sinned and did have the authority to judge, did not do. The bible says the standard to which you judge, you will be judged (Matthew 7: 2).
Scripture about being judgemental: Luke 6:37, Matthew 7:1-2, James 4:11-12, Matthew 7:5, Romans 14:4-13, John 8:7
15) Be Gluttonous
Women of God don’t indulge in food, they are grateful for what food God gives and does not overeat. They understand that their body is a temple and to not harm it through gluttony. Similarly, they don’t drink or abuse substances. The bible tells us to be of sober mind- when we are altering our mind’s state, we are allowing the devil to attack us.
Scripture about gluttony: Ecclesiastes 12:8, Ezekiel 16:49, Proverbs 23:2, Proverbs 23:20, 1 Corinthians 6:19-20, 1 Peter 5:8-9
16) Be Greedy
We are conditioned in society to consume more than we need. This causes us to spend money recklessly, to take more than is necessary and it leads to greed. The bible discourages us from this and promotes self control because overconsumption leads to death in many areas of our lives. Jesus said that life is not measured by how much we own (Luke 12:15).
Scripture about greed: Proverbs 15:27, Proverbs 21: 20, Proverbs 28:25, Luke 12:15
17) Be Embarrassed of Your Faith
The bible tells us that if we are embarrassed of The Lord, He will be embarrassed of us. We are to be bold in our faith, declaring it out loud and to others. It is not right to deny God by tiptoeing around our beliefs to make others comfortable. Who would you rather please? God or The World?
Scripture about being embarrassed of your faith: 2 Timothy 1:8, 1Corinthians 9:18, Romans 1:16, Luke 9:26, Mark 8:38, Romans 10:9